WELCOME...
|
|
| to you who are receiving
this newsletter for the first time and to our regular members. We
are a self-help organization offering nonjudgmental friendship and
understanding to bereaved parents, grandparents, and siblings. BP
purposes are to aid these persons in the positive resolution of
their grief and to foster their physical and emotional health. Our
chapter meets in a donated church facility, but no religious creed
or affiliation is involved. Persons of all faiths (or no faith),
creeds, and races are welcome! We have no dues, and no one is required
to speak at any meeting. Listening is OK. If you need us, we’re
here for you. If you do not need help yourself, please bring your
compassionate understanding to those who need the support of other
bereaved parents, siblings, or grandparents. |
The Bereaved Parents of North
Texas meets regularly on the third Monday of each month at 7:15
pm in the Flynn Hall Lounge of the First United Methodist Church,
201 S. Locust Street, Denton, Texas. (For directions, please see
the
map on the back page.) Baby-sitting available, SEE BELOW: |
BABY-SITTING
AT BPNT MEETINGS? |
Parents who need baby-sitting
at our monthly meetings should contact Jessica prior to the last
Sunday of the month for our 3rd Monday meetings. This way she can
arrange for the sitter. Contact Jessica at:
940-382-5478 |
| COMING UP IN JUNE…
We will share “Musical Memories”...music
that you associate with your child, music that makes you think
of your child or music that describes your feelings, please come
and share the evening with us.
|
| LOVING LISTENERS... |
Your telephone links you
to a loving listener. Do you need to talk about your child's
life and death with someone who truly understands your anguish?
Those listed below have volunteered to listen and to try to
help you. By allowing others to help you, you also are helping
others. If no one answers at one number, please call another.
Give us a call. It helps to talk!
Shirley &
RD Cawyer - 940-668-7717 -
auto/train accident
Beth Reynolds
- 940-321-3302
- auto accident
Dale &
Shannon Johnson - 940-591-8539
-
stillbirth
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| |
Share your child...
Submit stories about your child and/or pictures if possible for
future newsletters. I would like to have something to post in the
newsletter that pertains to your child during the month of their
birthday, anniversary, holiday or any other month. Specify which
you prefer to see it published. Either mail to the newsletter address
or email to Beth Reynolds at bethreyn@centurytel.net. |
NEXT
MEETINGS |
16 JUNE
21 JULY
|
| FATHER'S DAY
My daughter, Elaine -- my only child -- died in December 1999.
Now, more than three years later, the toughest day of the year
for me isn't Christmas or Thanksgiving; it isn't her birthday;
it isn't even the anniversary of the day she died. It's Father's
Day.
Father's Day is the reminder of what I've lost. I still am Elaine's
father, but I can't BE her father. It was the most important,
most joyful, proudest thing I'll ever be and I can't BE it anymore.
But I'll always have the 14 years of fatherhood she gave me.
The single most affecting thing anyone said when she died was
when a friend told me: "I've always believed that children
choose their parents." The image of Elaine looking over prospective
candidates, then seeing my wife and I and saying "I'll take
them"... that image makes me feel very good, very honored.
I believe I was a good father, and I am eternally grateful for
the opportunity she gave me.
So thank you, Elaine, my most precious daughter, for my Father's
Day.
- -Submitted by Frank Ferry,
Bereaved Parents of North Texas
|
| LET US REMEMBER . .
|
| |
| June Birthdays |
|
|
| -Tamara
R. Robinson |
June 03, 1974 |
|
Daughter of Rica Holtzinger |
| - Tyler
Keenan Ritson |
June 08, 2001 |
|
Son of Martin
& Jennifer Ritson
Brother of Lauren
|
| -
Madeline Elise Fritch |
June
11, 2002 |
|
Daughter of Kim & Joshua
Fritch |
| -Maladie Ann Morrison
|
June 17, 1951 |
|
Daughter
of Maladie Kubicek
|
| -Timothy Clement
|
June 20, 1959 |
|
Son of Virginia
Boyette |
| -Amie Waddle |
June 21, 1972 |
|
Daughter of Linda
Mann |
| -Samuel Adam Grassman
|
June
26, 1984 |
|
Son of Katherine
& Jack Grassman |
| -Catherine “Cari”
Crews |
June 07, 1993 |
| Daughter of Earl
& Risa Crews |
| -Tamara R. Robinson
|
June 10, 2000 |
Daughter of Rica
Holtzinger |
| -Robert S. Dean
|
June 15, 1992 |
Son of Sandra Butters |
| -Jason Gladys
|
June 19, 1991 |
Son of
Bill & Theresa Gladys |
| -Jason Flanigan
|
June 26, 2000 |
Son of
Debbie & Ted Flanigan |
| -Brian “Mat”
Goodman |
June 26, 2002 |
Son of
Russell & Vickie Goodman |
The following anniversary
date was left off of the May newsletter:
|
| -Sheila Jan Moore
Rhodes |
May 07, 1986 |
|
Daughter
of Anita & William Buckley |
| PLEASE NOTE: The editors
regret any misspelled names, incorrect dates, or any names omitted.
Please contact Beth Reynolds with any corrections or additions at
bethreyn@centurytel.net; 940-321-3302; fax 940-497-4790 or 8 Crest
CT Hickory Creek TX 75065. |
Send in Your Butterfly
Stories...
Judy Hominick, presented
a workshop on butterfly gardening for the 2001 Gathering in Dallas.
She reports that, “I have been amazed to hear stories from
people about encounters with butterflies. The stories also show
a comforting connection between butterflies and the death of someone
close. For instance, when a dozen monarchs were released at a
memorial service held for a young girl’s mother who had
died, all the butterflies flew off until one returned to briefly
perch on the shoulder of the young girl.
She asks that if you have
had a similar experience with a butterfly and a loss and would
like to share it for possible inclusion in a book which she is
writing, she would like you to contact her at:
|
Judy
Hominick
8619 Richardson Branch Trail
Dallas, TX 75243
web site: www.riverrunning.com
Email: hominick @swbell.net |
|
CHAPTER OFFICERS
Moderator . .
.Shannon Ratliff-Johnson & Virginia Gallian
Secretary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
.Shirley Ottman
Membership . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Tom
Richardson
Treasurer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . Bob Ottman
Newsletter Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Beth
Reynolds
Greeters. . . . . . . . . .Wanda Edington & Virgie Richardson
Supplies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
. . . . Louise Ferry
As the
day approaches, I wonder how I will react. Am I still a father?
I will sit quietly, never allowing friends or family to see
how I feel.
I miss my son, but I can’t allow myself to “break”.
I must remain strong and always be the rock.
I wish I could just let someone know how much I miss my little
angel.
How much I cry and how much I miss hearing,
“Dad, I love you.”
I am a father, but I wonder, “Will I just pretend, as
usual, that is doesn’t bother me?”
Remember me, for I hurt too, on this special day.
- -TCF
Tampa, FL newsletter
|
Our Credo
We are the parents whose
children have died. We are the grandparents who have buried
grandchildren. We are the siblings whose brothers and sisters
no longer walk with us through life. We come together as Bereaved
Parents of the USA to provide a haven where all bereaved families
can meet and share our long and arduous grief journeys. We attend
monthly gatherings whenever we can and for as long as we believe
necessary. We share our fears, confusion, anger, guilt, frustrations,
emptiness and feelings of hopelessness so that hope can be found
anew. As we accept, support, comfort and encourage each other,
we demonstrate to each other that survival is possible. Together
we celebrate the lives of our children, share the joys and triumphs
as well as the love that will never fade. Together we learn
how little it matters where we live, what our color or our affluence
is or what faith we uphold as we confront the tragedies of our
children's deaths. Together, strengthened by the bonds we forge
at our gatherings, we offer what we have learned to each other
and to every more recently bereaved family. We are the Bereaved
Parents of the USA.
We welcome
you. |
RECENT LOVE GIFTS
The BPNT Chapter has the following Donation Programs:
Monthly Newsletter
Postage
Newly Bereaved Letters
Library Book Fund
General Operations of the Chapter
Bereaved Parents of the USA
Your tax-deductible donation to BP is a good way to remember
your child or to honor another family member or friend. Please
mail your checks and the name or names of your memorial or honoree
to Robert Ottman, Treasurer, BPNT, 415 Mimosa DR, Denton, TX
76201. Love Gifts came from:
- Linda Mann,
in memory of her daughter, Amie Waddle
- Barbara
& Charles Draper, in memory of their son, Jeffrey Lee Draper
- Joan Hindman, in honor
of our chapter
|
Excerpt from “A Broken
Heart Still Beats” by Anne McCraken & Mary Semel
In this beautifully melodic song, blues/rock guitarist and
singe Eric Clapton wonders if his son Conor, who died at age 4
1/2 years old, would still recognize him. It’s a question
that haunts many bereaved parents—especially those who lose
young children. Where are they? And after a while, will they know
us? Conor fell to his death from the fifty-third floor of his
mother’s New York apartment after climbing unnoticed onto
a window ledge. A housekeeper, cleaning windows, had left one
open to dry. Afterwards, Clapton wrote a cycle of songs for Conor,
believing that somehow, in some spiritual way, his son would hear
them. “I have to pay my respects to that boy, in my way,”
he later told an interviewer, “and let the world know what
I thought about him.”
From the CD Eric Clapton Unplugged
Tears in Heaven
Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on
‘cause I know
I don’t belong
Here in heaven.
Would you hold my hand
If I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand
If I saw you in heaven?
I’ll find my way
Through night and day
‘cause I know
I just can’t stay
Here in heaven.
Time can bring you down;
Time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart;
Have you begging please
...begging please.
Beyond the door
There’s peace I’m sure
And I know
There’ll be no more
Tears in heaven.
|
 |
| What Should I Say On Father’s
Day?
What should I say to my son on Father’s
Day
When he’s not here to hear me?
Should I tell him that I yelled at him when he was wrong,
But that I still loved him?
What should I say to my son on Father’s
Day?
May I tell him that I wish he were still alive,
And somewhere on this earth- -I wouldn’t care where-
And though I might never see him,
Maybe he’d call once in a while.
(It wouldn’t even have to be on Father’s Day.)
What should I say to my son on Father’s
Day?
That I miss him , and miss him and miss him
TERRIBLY
And that I wish I still could cry- -
Because I can’t any more (though sometimes misty-eyed)
Because I cried for two years- -
Was the intense grief a tear suppressant?
What should I say to my son on Father’s
Day?
That I will never forget him.
NEVER,
But inwardly, inherently, I am forever amputated- -
Maimed, scarred, perpetually bereaved.
And I wish I did not have to write this poem
That doesn’t even rhyme.
- -Dave Ziv
TCF, Bucksmont
|
Pain
I am not a young man, and I thought I knew the meaning of
pain. I have experienced pain from a toothache, arthritis,
and even the loss of relatives and friends. But nothing in
my fifty-four years had prepared me for the pain I experienced
when we lost our son. I had no clue to real pain.
I think only a bereaved parent knows the
true meaning. Not to belittle the loss of a parent or spouse,
but those who have lost both tell me that it is not the
same. My mother said to me at my brother’s funeral,
“Now I know how you feel.” Even though she had
lost a grandson, it was not the same.
It has been almost five years now, and there
hasn’t been a day go by that I don’t see his
picture and think of him and feel that pain. Pain for what
we lost….and for what he lost.
That pain is not as intense now. I have
learned to tolerate it and still lead a normal life. The
Compassionate Friends helped me to realize that I was not
alone and that there were many others who felt that same
pain. They helped me learn how to deal with it. Now it is
my turn to try to help someone else.
- -Harold F. Underwood
TCF, Southern Maryland
|
| GATHERING NOTICE:
HOTEL: Just a reminder for those who have
delayed registering: the cutoff date for Hotel Registration
and to get the guaranteed $69 pricing is 25 May 2003. Any
Hotel registrations made after that date may be at the normal
rate. The hotel will try to accommodate the adjusted price,
but there are no guarantees. Please don't delay any longer.
Call the hotel directly at 314-291-6700.
REGISTRATION and MEALS: The cutoff for the
Gathering Registration ($15 single; $45 family) and meals
is 16 June 2003. Make your reservations for meals right
away. The meals are delicious and economical: $115 complete
meal package allows you to eat sumptuous meals while also
participating in stimulating programs. Do not miss out on
this great opportunity to share and learn.
|
 |
This Newsletter produced
and distributed in loving memory of Rona Thompson
by her parents, Jerry and Beth Reynolds.
|
| These chunks of
our hearts gone.
We don’t have closure; we have
times of growing reality. Reality does not come all
at once. We must gradually come to grips with our loss.
We go through a time of real but not real. We know it
has happened but we still think it is a dream and we
will soon awake. Reality develops gradually through
many experiences. It grows in those times when we face
a little bit more of our loss, and reality becomes more
vivid. Viewing a loved one, the funeral, the first visit
to the cemetery, cleaning out the closets, cleaning
out the room, all of these are steps toward reality
and toward coping. They are not the closing of a door
nor opening a new door. They are just tiny steps toward
deciding to live again and learning to cope.
--By Doug Manning
“Don’t Take My Grief Away”
|
| Borrowed Hope
Lend me your hope for a while. I seem to have
mislaid mine.
Lost and hopeless feelings accompany me daily.
Pain and confusion are my companions.
I know not where to turn. Looking ahead to future times does not
bring forth images of renewed hope.
I see mirthless times, pain filled days, and more tragedy.
Lend me your hope for a while. I seem to have
mislaid mine.
Hold my hand and hug me, listen to all my ramblings.
I need to unleash the pain and let it tumble out.
Recovery seems so far distant, the road
to healing a long and lonely one.
Stand by me. Offer me your presence, your ears
and your love.
Acknowledge my pain, it is so real and ever present,
I am overwhelmed with sad and conflicting thoughts.
Lend me your hope for a while. A time will come when I will heal,
and I will lend my renewed hope to others.
- -Eloise Cole
|
A fellowship for
bereaved parents
You need not walk
alone!
|
